Thirty, girlie, and thriving!

Ok, I just had a birthday..now it's time to come to terms with getting better:)

Yes, I am in my thirties and must admit it is far better than the twenties were for me. In my twenties I was confused, discontent, and extremely insecure!! It is nice to have a career off the ground, children that are not infants, and a better idea of who I am and who God would have me to be. For me, taking one day at a time without worry of tomorrow or the past brings peace. It has been difficult for me to try to have a healthy view of myself. Am I special? Well, yes and no. I am special in the sense that I can be used as an instrument of God's work. Will the world go on without me? Yes. The world does not revolve around me. Egocentrism is something that should be outgrown after the age of 6. Unfortunately, it creeps back. One the other hand, I have had my bouts with self hatred. Thus, my prayer turns to "please God grant me the perspective of self that you would want me to have." What I have learned is that when I am close to my creator it becomes natural to seek to help others and be of service and servanthood for him. Further, this becomes a great joy and not drudgery. But this only happens after my cup is full of His love.